My True Friends

"Love Is Not Only Made For Lovers, It Is Also For Friends Who Love Each Other, Better Than Lovers"

I had someone do something really nice for me once and I tried to repay him. His statement back to me was "That is what real friends do for each other"
My heart was touched by this statement. We should all be blessed with real friends. The ones that are there for us, no matter what. The ones that will come, no matter what the time, and the ones that believe in us, even when we stop believing. True Friends. I am blessed. One of my real friends has gone on to his next life but my few really true friends are here. I have many people I know and call friend, but the ones that are true and real friends are not many. These are the ones that believe in you when you stop believing. They come when you need them, no matter the time or day. They listen to good news and bad news and have words for both. They are there and want to be there. They do not judge, they just love you for who you are.
I love my true friends and I try to be there when they need me, even if they do not know they need me. Sitting in silence can be the best conversation you ever have. Just knowing they are there and love you means so much. They do not have to fix what is hurting you, they just care enough to be there to let you know. Good enough. We should all be blessed with this type of silence in our lives.
Appreciate those true friends and be one in return. Love grows from kindness and good deeds. Love grows the most when it is returned in the humble way it is given.
Tell the ones you love that you do love them and be a true friend.
Thanks for reading.

The monster has returned

Once again, cancer has returned to cause pain and saddness in someone's life I love. I have a dear friend who was diagnosed with cancer last December and the disease is taking over his body. It has spread into his lungs, kidneys and back. He is in lots of pain most days. They are treating this cancer with radiation and chemo, but the cancer is stubborn and not giving up.
I have said many times, I hate cancer. It is a terrible disease that robs us of the people we love. It causes pain and heartache and just the mention of the word, sends fear and dread into our hearts.
Once again, I fear, cancer is about to take someone that I love very much. He is suffering and the pain gets worse each day. One cannot be selfish and wish this person to stay with so much pain.
This friend is a very good person. He has always been kind to others and has always thought of others before himself. When is time comes he is ready. His family is sad and worried. He will leave behind many people who love him.
I hate cancer.
Please tell the ones you love that you do love them and thanks for reading.

Fall

The calendar says it is Fall. Well close enough that it can be called Fall. I have noticed some leaves falling off trees. No color change to speak of, but falling leaves are here. Morning temps are cooler. Days are still hot, but the mornings are nice. Halloween and Fall decorations are out in stores. I have even seen a Christmas decoration or two in some stores.
I like Fall. Cooler temps, enjoy outside more, jeans and sweats, and the smell. Fall smells different. The smell of leaves, pumpkin, and wood burning. People begin to have fire outside and fire in the wood stove or fireplace. I love the smells. I like the cooler temperatures. I like the festivals and fairs that happen in the Fall. I must say Fall and Spring are my favorite times of the year. Not too hot, not too cold, and the colors of both are just beautiful. Spring brings flowers and Fall brings changing leaves.
Halloween is around the corner and what costume to wear is most present on Skylar's mind. She has stated about 10 or 12 that she wants to be. The search for the perfect one is on. We have to find one that is just right. She is a girly girl and she loves princess and fairy and all things like that. I am trying to get her to be something scarey, like a witch or zombie. She does not seem too keen on those ideas. We will continue the search and I will report back on the decision, probably with pictures.
I am off to a donkey show today. Looking forward to seeing the beautiful donkeys and all the many different kinds. I have come to love this animals and how friendly they are.
Everyone have a wonderful day and as alwasy, tell the ones you love that you do love them.
Thanks for reading.

One Year/Two Years

This time of year is a struggle for me. It marks the aniversary of two major events in my life. One year ago, Gerald left this world to go to his next life. Two years ago, Miss Kia did the same.
Above is a picture of Gerald sitting on Kia. Although it is sad, I love this picture. Everytime Gerald would come around this little horse, he would ride her. Only for a short time because he was a little big for her, he did enjoy riding her so very much. She was such a good girl.
I remember a couple of weeks before Kia left this world, Gerald was at the pasture putting shoes on another horse. When he was finished, he was sitting in his truck with the door open talking to me. I had Kia out there with me on a lead. I had to walk over to get something for him from my car, so I dropped the lead and left Kia standing there. I knew she would not go anywhere. When I turned from my car to return to Gerald, Kia had walked over to his truck and had her head and the upper part of her body in the truck with Gerald loving on him. He was rubbing her and talking to her. She loved him so much. All horses loved him so much. I returned to get her and he told me that she missed her Daddy. We finished our conversation and Gerald drove away. That would be the last time Kia would see him. She got sick a couple of weeks later and I lost her. I talked with Gerald on the telephone during the time she was sick and the vet came and through it all, he was there with me by telephone. As always, he helped me and supported me and helped me know what to do. It was a very sad time for me. This little horse was so very special because he had gotten her for me and she was just the perfect horse for me. She was gentle, understanding, and very tolerent of my mistakes, (which were many). He told me when he got her and called me that she was perfect for me and as always, he was right. I learned so very much from this little horse. Kia was suffering and sick. This happen suddenly, but she was in lots of pain. I did not want her to suffer. She was not going to get well and I made the decision I had to make to end her suffering. It was a hard decision. Gerald talked with me and explained things to me and told me I had made the right decision for the horse. Althought heart breaking for me, I had done what was right for the horse, and he was very proud of me. Words of gold from the man whose approval I wanted so very badly.
This was two years ago. Little did I know that one year later I would have to say good-bye to this man who had become one of the best friends I had ever had. He was kind to me. He worked with me and taught me about horses and listen to me when I needed to talk. He was patient and good. In March of 2012, Gerald was told her had stomach cancer. When he told me, I was so sick I thought I would throw up. He assured me things would be OK and he would beat it. The doctors told him his odds were greater than 90% of beating this cancer with surgery and treatments. So the battle began. He went through chemo and radiation and surgery. Through all of it, doctors kept telling him he would be OK with time. He was very sick and lost weight and felt bad, but he battled on. A few weeks after surgery, Gerald began having lots of abdominal pain. He was in and out of hospital with continued pain. Finally doctors admitted him to the hospital for testing. In a few days we learned the cancer had returned and there was nothing they could do. He had only a short amount of time left. I rushed to see him to tell him things that I already had told him many times. How much I appreciated everything he had ever done for me, how much I appreciated all the things he tried to teach me, and how special his friendship was to me. I had to tell him one more time how much I loved him. He already knew all of these things. I had told him many times before he had ever gotten sick, but to say it one more time was something I had to do. I sat by his bed and we talked and laughed about stupid things I had done and remembered special times we had shared. His pain medication was working OK that day and his mind was clear. I have to say, it was a good visit. It was sad because I felt it might be my last. They did not give him much time and I had to travel several hours to visit. I also knew there would be many others who would want to say good-bye to him, so I could not take up all the time he had left. I was able to thank him for being my friend and for being so very good to me. I told him how special he was to me and what an impact he had made in my life. I was able to say one last time I Love You.
He told me it would be OK and that he was right with his life and his maker and he had no regrets. He told me I would be OK and that I would learn I knew more than I thought and he knew I would be fine with the horse he gave to me before he died. He told me he Loved me too. I left his home that day with great saddness, knowing it most likely had been the last time I would see him. Two days later I received the call that his pain had gotten so bad they had to increase his medication to the point that he no longer would be awake. This was it. Now he would sleep until his time came. Gerald left this world 36 hours later. He left peacefully and pain free. He left in his sleep quitely. The friend that I loved so very much was gone. He was no longer suffering. He has suffered quite a bit in his last days and this was over. Now he could be at peace with no more pain and suffering. My heart was broken and still is. I miss this dear friend that I shared so very much with. But I would not want him here if he had to suffer and be in horrible pain like he was. I know he is in a better place and his body is whole now and he is pain free and smiling. I miss him and there is a place in my heart that will always be his.
This time of year is very hard for me. Memories flood in and I am sad. Both Kia and Gerald were suffering and it was time for them to leave this world and go on to their next life. I take comfort in knowing that they are together and Kia can have the person she loved so much and I know Gerald will look after her until my time comes to join them. My heart is heavy becasue I miss both of them so very much.
Please tell the ones you love that you do love them and thanks for reading.