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Above is a picture of Gerald sitting on Kia. Although it is sad, I love this picture. Everytime Gerald would come around this little horse, he would ride her. Only for a short time because he was a little big for her, he did enjoy riding her so very much. She was such a good girl.
I remember a couple of weeks before Kia left this world, Gerald was at the pasture putting shoes on another horse. When he was finished, he was sitting in his truck with the door open talking to me. I had Kia out there with me on a lead. I had to walk over to get something for him from my car, so I dropped the lead and left Kia standing there. I knew she would not go anywhere. When I turned from my car to return to Gerald, Kia had walked over to his truck and had her head and the upper part of her body in the truck with Gerald loving on him. He was rubbing her and talking to her. She loved him so much. All horses loved him so much. I returned to get her and he told me that she missed her Daddy. We finished our conversation and Gerald drove away. That would be the last time Kia would see him. She got sick a couple of weeks later and I lost her. I talked with Gerald on the telephone during the time she was sick and the vet came and through it all, he was there with me by telephone. As always, he helped me and supported me and helped me know what to do. It was a very sad time for me. This little horse was so very special because he had gotten her for me and she was just the perfect horse for me. She was gentle, understanding, and very tolerent of my mistakes, (which were many). He told me when he got her and called me that she was perfect for me and as always, he was right. I learned so very much from this little horse. Kia was suffering and sick. This happen suddenly, but she was in lots of pain. I did not want her to suffer. She was not going to get well and I made the decision I had to make to end her suffering. It was a hard decision. Gerald talked with me and explained things to me and told me I had made the right decision for the horse. Althought heart breaking for me, I had done what was right for the horse, and he was very proud of me. Words of gold from the man whose approval I wanted so very badly.
This was two years ago. Little did I know that one year later I would have to say good-bye to this man who had become one of the best friends I had ever had. He was kind to me. He worked with me and taught me about horses and listen to me when I needed to talk. He was patient and good. In March of 2012, Gerald was told her had stomach cancer. When he told me, I was so sick I thought I would throw up. He assured me things would be OK and he would beat it. The doctors told him his odds were greater than 90% of beating this cancer with surgery and treatments. So the battle began. He went through chemo and radiation and surgery. Through all of it, doctors kept telling him he would be OK with time. He was very sick and lost weight and felt bad, but he battled on. A few weeks after surgery, Gerald began having lots of abdominal pain. He was in and out of hospital with continued pain. Finally doctors admitted him to the hospital for testing. In a few days we learned the cancer had returned and there was nothing they could do. He had only a short amount of time left. I rushed to see him to tell him things that I already had told him many times. How much I appreciated everything he had ever done for me, how much I appreciated all the things he tried to teach me, and how special his friendship was to me. I had to tell him one more time how much I loved him. He already knew all of these things. I had told him many times before he had ever gotten sick, but to say it one more time was something I had to do. I sat by his bed and we talked and laughed about stupid things I had done and remembered special times we had shared. His pain medication was working OK that day and his mind was clear. I have to say, it was a good visit. It was sad because I felt it might be my last. They did not give him much time and I had to travel several hours to visit. I also knew there would be many others who would want to say good-bye to him, so I could not take up all the time he had left. I was able to thank him for being my friend and for being so very good to me. I told him how special he was to me and what an impact he had made in my life. I was able to say one last time I Love You.
He told me it would be OK and that he was right with his life and his maker and he had no regrets. He told me I would be OK and that I would learn I knew more than I thought and he knew I would be fine with the horse he gave to me before he died. He told me he Loved me too. I left his home that day with great saddness, knowing it most likely had been the last time I would see him. Two days later I received the call that his pain had gotten so bad they had to increase his medication to the point that he no longer would be awake. This was it. Now he would sleep until his time came. Gerald left this world 36 hours later. He left peacefully and pain free. He left in his sleep quitely. The friend that I loved so very much was gone. He was no longer suffering. He has suffered quite a bit in his last days and this was over. Now he could be at peace with no more pain and suffering. My heart was broken and still is. I miss this dear friend that I shared so very much with. But I would not want him here if he had to suffer and be in horrible pain like he was. I know he is in a better place and his body is whole now and he is pain free and smiling. I miss him and there is a place in my heart that will always be his.
This time of year is very hard for me. Memories flood in and I am sad. Both Kia and Gerald were suffering and it was time for them to leave this world and go on to their next life. I take comfort in knowing that they are together and Kia can have the person she loved so much and I know Gerald will look after her until my time comes to join them. My heart is heavy becasue I miss both of them so very much.
Please tell the ones you love that you do love them and thanks for reading.
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