Monday will be March 4, 2013. Actually it will be my little brother's birthday. Honestly I am not sure of his age because I have been dishonest about my age for so long I have kinda lost track. I know he is younger than me. Little is not really the truth. He towers above me. He is very tall. I love my baby brother although I have not forgiven him for knocking me out of the baby status. I was the baby until he came along. Now I am not the baby in every way. It's OK. He has always been in my corner and it is good to know I will always have someone that will be in my corner. He does not get all into my business but is always there when I need him. Guess that is all you can ask for a brother, right? I love him and I know he loves me.
Monday will also be 6 months since Gerald passed away. 6 long months. I miss him very much. I actually think I miss him more each day. Maybe not. I know I miss him so very much. I sure think about him every day, many times each day. I miss his smile, his wonderful advice, the fact that he was just there, the way he always helped solve my problems, the fact that he was my friend. I miss his sense of humor. I do not think there is anything I do not miss. I even miss when we were annoyed with each other. I miss hearing him tell me about what was going on in his life. The new deals, new horses, new contacts, and anything else he had to tell me. I just miss being around him and enjoying the time with my friend.
I think of him everytime I look at Sage. She was the last gift he gave me and a wonderful gift she is. I know he would be so proud of the way she looks and how healthy she is. I know he would say I was doing a good job. Sure wish I could hear him say it. I guess I do hear him in my heart. He did tell me the last time I saw him that she looked really good and he was so glad she and I were getting along. We do get along. We do not ride all that much, but we get along really good. She is such a good girl.
He told me I had been a good friend and he loved me. I told him I loved him back and he would live forever in my heart. I am grateful for the chance to say good-bye. Many people do not get that chance to say I love you and thank you for all you did for me. I had that chance and I did tell him everything. I thought of many things I wanted to say later, but I said the important ones. He knew what was in my heart. I told him many times before he got sick. He knew.
I miss him so very much. Sometimes my heart hurts from the loss. Some days I remember the fun times and have a good laugh and smile. Sometimes I have a good cry because I miss him so much.
People say time will make it better. I sure wish time would make it a little better.
I am grateful he did not have to suffer too much before he left this world. I am grateful he was able to leave peaceful in his sleep. His last days were spent talking to friends that wanted to say good-bye and tell him how much they loved him. There were so many that made the journey to his home to tell him how much they loved him. He was a good person.
I loved him and miss him so very bad. Rest In Peace my dear friend and I will see you again one day. Know I love you and miss you so very much. Thank you for all you did but more than that, thank you for just being my true friend. As you told me once, that is what real friends do for one another. You were a real friend and I am honored to know you called me friend.
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