December 31, 2012

Well it is finally here. The very last day of the year 2012. Today is my one year aniversary with Sage. One whole year. 365 days. No, I will not count the hours  minutes  and seconds. One year with one horse. A really very big deal in my life. I look forward to more years with Sage. She is just the best horse in the world. My love for her grows more each day. Good Girl as I tell her all the time.
On to 2013. I must say I do look forward to putting 2012 behind me. Many of the events in this year have changed my life. I lost one of the best friends I have ever had to cancer. His brother left us 3 months later. I miss you Gerald. I miss you every day and think of you every day. I am moving forward like you said I should. Oh, by the way, you were right about Sage. She made it to one year and is a great horse. You were right. I know you would have loved hearing that. But you already know you were right and do not have to hear it. In your next life you remember and see into this life and you are smiling because you were right. Thanks for everything.
I have made new friends and grown even closer with old ones. I look forward to good times with all of them.
I am not much on New Year's resolutions because I tend to forget them after just a few days. My life has changed in the last few months and alot of it has been for the better. I have tried, (and I do say tried) to be a better person. I hope to continue with that trend. Not a resolution, just a life style change. I have tried to walk away from the drama and make things simple. It is what it is and we do what we have to do. A good friend of mine told me that and she was right. Move forward and have great memories but keep moving forward.
I have great plans for the year 2013. I hope 2013 has good things for me. I am ready to go forward.
Everyone have a wonderful day and if you are out and about tonight, please be safe. I hope 2013 has wonderful things for you as well. Thanks for reading.
Below is a picture of Sage with her family this past weekend. Sage had fun and I hope they did too.

3 days till One Year!!!!!!!

On Dec. 31 2011, Miss Sage came to live with me. In previous blogs I have written about my run of bad luck with horses. I was uncertain. I remember telling Gerald I was not sure. He told me it would be fine and this was the one. Honestly I doubted him. Well as always Gerald was right. In 3 more days Sage and I will celebrate our 1 year. It will be with mixed emotion. I am thrilled she is here and love here so much and hope for many many more aniversarys. She is happy. She has food, a place to get in from the heat and cold and she gets so much love. During our first year together we lost Gerald to cancer. It has been rough moving forward without him. But we have moved forward. He wanted us to and we have. We have made decisions without him and they were the right ones. We have found new friends to answers questions that we would have needed him for. We miss him so very bad and think of him all the time but we go on like he would want us to. Sage is just the best horse in the world and the most beautiful. I love her so very much. She loves me back. How do I know? She comes to me and puts her head on my shoulder and wants to be touched and brushed. She gives me love back. You have to be a horse person to know, but I know. Horses are smart and have great memory. She knows where she gets love from and comes to me for this. I ramble. Sorry. In three days we will celebrate our one year. One whole year! It is a really big deal. She will get a special treat and I will look to the heavens and remind Gerald it has been a year and he was right. I will not see it but he will smile because he was right. One year with one horse. Sage and I will celebrate with a ride and a good brushing and some bond time between us. Then we will ring in the new year and hope 2013 will be a much better one and continue on through our 2nd year together. One year.

The watch for 2013

The watch is on for 2013. The days count down waiting for the minutes and seconds to count down. I am looking forward to this new year. I am hoping for a much better year than 2012. On New Year's Eve of last year I was dropping off last minute mixers for a really dear friend so he could ring in the New Year with his favorite drink. He was heading out to a New Year's Eve Party with family and friends and I was heading to a seperate gathering of friends. Last year at this time I was ending my relationship with one horse that we just could not seem to communicate and getting ready to begin my relationship with Sage, the best Quarter Horse in the world. Little Ben, the best donkey in the world has not long arrived at my home and we were getting to know each other.
Life was good. Family and Friends were happy and healthy and all was well in my little world. Then in came 2012 and it all came crashing down.
Good-bye to 2012. I am glad to see you go. Surely 2013 will be kinder.
I wish everyone a Happy New Year. I look forward to seeing it come.

Santa is coming

It is Christmas Eve. Santa will be coming tonight. I hope. All is calm. I want to take this minute to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Enjoy your family and friends. Be kind to one another. Have a wonderful holiday time.

Now I understand.

Went to the funeral of a friend from long ago yesterday. The brother of G, the man I refer to often in this blog. The last time I visited with E was in September just a couple of days before G passed away. He was in from OK to see his brother and I had the opportunity to sit and visit with E for almost an hour. The first time we had seen each other in probably 15 years and as it turns out the last time we saw each other. Our visit was good. We talked about old times, told funny stories about his brother G, and just had wonderful conversation about life and our families. It was good. Our conversation drifted to his brother G and how I came to know him and become his friend. I told the story. I also shared with E how much I loved his brother and how wonderful his brother had been to me. He said he is that kind of person and he is a good boy. he actually used the word boy. E was older than G so I guess it just came natural to call him a boy. G stood way taller than his older brother but age comes before height, I suppose. I shared with E my saddness of what was happening to G and that my heart was breaking for G and his family. I also shared with him how much I would miss his brother when the time came for him to go.
E looked at me and said, "He is going to be OK, He will be alright". I told him I knew what the doctors had said and I believed them and did not think G would be OK. E looked me in the eye and said, "You don't understand what I am saying to you. He is at home now surrounded by family and friends that love him. He will get his strength from this. He will be alright. Do you understand what I am telling you?" I said I did, but I really did not understand. We had been told that G had 2 weeks to 2 months and I could see him getting worse. I just thought maybe E was in denial and did not understand. I told him I prayed for him every day and he thanked me and said he appreciated it. He told me how he was going to be OK and how his doctor had given him good news and he could go back to work next year. He then closed that part of the conversation by telling me, "If the doctor is wrong, I will still be OK"
I understand now. E was telling me that his little brother would be OK because he was going to live in heaven, and begin the next story in his life. His faith in God and his little brother was stronger than the sickness that was over taking both of them. He was ready to begin the next story in his life as well.
As I sat during the funeral yesterday I was sad. Both brothers had left this world within 3 months. How sad I feel for their sisters.
I also remembered my conversation with E the last time I saw him. They are OK and begining the next story of their lives.
I will miss them both. One of them was one of the best friends I have ever had and my heart still breaks and the other was the one that started my heart to healing by his faith and being honest with me. It took me a while to remember that conversation, but I remember now. R.I.P. and thanks to both of you. I will remember you always.
During the funeral yesterday as people spoke of the wonderful kind man I remembered our last visit. I remembered his faith that his younger brother would be OK. There was no doubt in his heart and mind about this.

Take a long walk in a new pair of boots

Today was a better day. Gift exchange at work (and I got the perfect gift) put me in a little better spirits. I had a wonderful laugh about an old memory but it was great fun remembering.
Christmas is only a few days away and I am so trying to get in a better mood.
I did read something I would like to share today that I feel applies to my life at the moment
"If you want to forget all your troubles, Take a long walk in a NEW pair of boots."
I have a new pair of boots and I just might try this. Christmas would be great from the easy chair while everyone is waiting on me.
Thanks for reading.

I am having a hard time.

I am having a hard time this Christmas. I lost someone I just thought the world of a few months ago and it seems that is all I can think about. I miss him. He has family that I know miss him and loved him so very much and I do not mean to take away from them. He and I had a great friendship and we had good times. I miss him and the good times and his kind words and all the great things we did and said for each other. Therre is not much more I can say. I miss him. This time of year I seem to be thinking of him more and more. I try not to, but everything I look at and everything I hear, suddenly there he is. Smiling at me. I just miss him. There is not much more I can say. Time heals is what everyone says. How much time? Christmas is almost here and I get more and more sad with each day. My heart hurts. I miss him so very much. I hope it gets better soon.