Home Sick with Memories

I have been home almost all day with a stomach bug. I feel Ucky. Ucky, for those of you who do not know, is really bad. While I was laying in bed I was flooded with memories of this past year of my life. Not just 2012 really, but I guess the last 12 to 14 monthis of my life. I have lost someone I loved dearly to stomach cancer, lost a horse that was the most perfect horse to some horrible disease that we were never clear on, lost another friend to cancer that I had just rediscovered and watch my parents go from being older to old and sick. Now I know I make it sound like there was nothing good during these months. There were good times and good friends and new horses and other fun things. But when you are sick in bed you tend to remember the sad things. I am not sure why that happens, but it does.
Memories are a wonderful things and they fill your heart with the good times that you shared with loved ones. But those same memories can make you sad at the same time. I miss the ones that have gone on to their next life, (both people and animal). I am very sorry to see my parents reduced to sitting at home and not being able to get out and enjoy life. Sometimes they do not even remember who I am. This is sad. The confusion on their faces when you try to help them remember is heart breaking.
I had my miniature dachshund in bed with me. Sadly she is not well and I believe most of the time she is confused about who we are and where she is. She was 14 this past July and watching her slip away is also very sad for me. Those of you who read my blog know I love animals and own several. She is my baby. She has been with me since she was 8 weeks old. She is a member of the family and I am sad thinking she might be leaving me soon.
In just a couple of months I will travel to Virginia to see my friend that passed of stomach cancer honored at a major Trail Horse event. I look forward to honoring him and know he would be thrilled to know he was being honored at such an event. This to is bittersweet. It will also be sad for me. I watched this man at this event the last 2 years and he loved it. He was in his element at events like this. He smiled constantly and was happy. Last year he had just started chemo but still managed to have a wonderful time and still smiled almost the whole time.
This will be a trail horse event. The little horse I lost was the perfect trail horse. She would go anywhere you ask her. When I see horses like her I am sad remembering her. She knew she was loved though and I was with her when she left this world.
Memories are wonderful, but often times just remembering can bring a tear of sadness. I am so grateful each one of these lives on in my heart, but they do sometimes slip out in the form of a tear and run down my cheek.

Skylar is "6"

Well Happy Birthday to Skylar. Today she is 6. Seems like yesterday I was waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting at the hospital for her to be born. Finally she was born, very early in the morning. We thought she was going to be born late at night, but NO, in true girl fashion she came a few hours later, in the early hours of the morning.
For her birthday, we took her and some friends to an Inflatible party place and let them run wild. This is better than having a crowd at your home in winter, (after an ice storm) running wild inside. But keeping up with a crowd of 5 and 6 year olds at a place like this can be over powering. They had fun. They ran and ran until they were exhausted. Then we took them to a Pizza buffet for lunch. Cake was at home later in the day. I think she had a great time. She got lots of great presents and played with most of her friends.
She is already telling us what she wants to do next year on her birthday. Bless her. She does not realize that next year is an entire year away and many things will change.
I reflect on the past 6 years and the many changes in my life. I was blessed with Skylar. I was not sure what to do with a little girl. She is a girl's girl. Not one ounce of Tom Boy in this one. I still cannot believe it. Not sure how this happen to me, but it did. Each day is an adventure, that is for sure.
I have lost people I loved and found new friends. I have lost beloved animals and gotten new ones that I loved just as much. My life has changed. I have become more spiritual and have really stopped putting up with the gossip and crap from people that do not matter. Walking away from people who want drama and trouble has become more easy. Holding on to the ones that want to be there has become more important.
I have watch my parents become old. This has been very sad for me.The people that have always taken care of me now need me to help them. I do, as much as they will allow. Independence is a big trait in my family.
Well today is Skylar's day. I am sure there will be many phone calls from family far away and she will have a big day.
Everyone have a good day and thanks for reading. Tell your family and friend you love them today.

My visit with Socks

I went to see Socks yesterday. This is the last time I will use that name. The rescue organization has given her a new name. Their belief is that when a horse gets a new start they get a new name to go alone with it. I am sorry, but I do not remember her new name. I do remember it was a pretty girl name that suited her. She has gained some weight but is still very weak. She was laying down enjoying the morning sunshine when I got there. It was a very warm day for this time of year so probably a good say to just lay and relax. They came over and fixed her a bucket of feed. She has a bit of trouble coming over to get it. They say she is still very weak in her hind legs and has trouble standing when she does lay down and she does lay down alot because she is in such bad shape. She is getting food 3 times a day. Imagine being fed 3 times a day when you are used to no food and starving. She is very piggy but I can understand that. When you have been hungry for so many years you are afraid someone will take it from you. She had a bath and some of her mites and lice are gone but she still needs more treatment for that. It is a slow process because the medicine she has to take to get rid of all parasites is very strong and she can only take small doses at a time. The farrier is coming today to do her feet.
Poor girl. She was negleted for so long and needs so much care to make it. The rescue organization is working very hard to give her all she needs for a chance at life but her condition was so bad when she was finally rescued they are just not sure if she will make it. I hope she does.
She allowed me to rub her yesterday and looked at me. I do not know if she remembers me but I will never forget her.

Mixed emotions

Good Morning to Everyone. Today is MLK Jr Day, so no work for me. Our county has had a major equipment failure at our water station so it is also no water day for me. No bath. Well it could be worse.
This was a mixed emotion weekend for me. I year ago this past weekend my friend G and I were beginning to work with Sage, (my horse) getting me acquainted with her and how well she and I were going to work together. Funny how when you lose someone you love that you remember the smallest of details about your time with them. He came down on Sunday and we saddled her up. I did not do well. I was still nervous from my fall on the other horse. G was very good and very patient and worked with me for a short time. I did not do well and he did not lose his cool with me. We sat at the barn and visited for a while before he went on to be with his family. The next day, (Monday, today's Monday) he came back and we tried again. I did much better and he was excited for the progress. We had a great time together and he went on the the horse and tack sale. I find it odd how emotions and memories will flood in during the past almost 5 months since he left this world. I remember the smallest details that mean so much. I miss him so very much, but have learned to stand on my own feet and do things for myself that I had him to do for me. I think of him every day. He would be proud of me and the progress I have made. I wish he could be here to see.
Today I travel to visit Socks and see her progress. The rescue organization tells me she has not gained much weight but she is feeling better and is a mare with an attitude. I am excited about this attitude. This means she feels better and is not hungry. I am also so very excited for this little mare because now she knows kindness, warmth and a regular meal. She is not starving. I do not know how much longer she will have in her life. She is older for a horse. But in her last day she will know a much better life. This is so very exciting for me. I am so happy for her.
Oh and all the hay got moved and I repaired some fence this past weekend. My back is sort but all the work was done and it really did not hurt me. I did not say I liked it, but in the end, it was not bad at all. I even found the time to do some work on the barn to help it be warmer for Sage and Ben this week. We are suppose to have very cold temps and I do want them to stay warm. They are my babies and I do try to take care of them.
Everyone have a wonderful day and thanks for reading.

Hay????????

I have hay at my barn. This would stand to reason since I have a barn that has a horse and donkey living there. I usually purchase square bales because I do not have a tractor so I cannot move the large round bales. I store my hay behind my barn in a covered area that does connect to one side of my pasture. Two nights ago Sage (my horse) decided it was a great idea to get into my hay and scatter several bales of it. I know it was the horse because this hay was stacked pretty high and the donkey could not have reached up that far. Anyway, I lost about 5 bales of hay. I am aware the horses scatter hay although I really do not knwo why. Sage normally stays out of the hay and really does not mess with anything in this area. Well she changed her mind the other night and just had a really good time getting all into it. UGH! Now I have to move hay. I will move as much as possible into the barn and away from her. Hay is heavy. I think about 40 lbs per bale. I will most likely have to move about 50 bales. It really is starting to sound alot like work. Then I need to build something to keep Sage out of the rest of the hay I leave behind the barn. More work.
Have I mentioned how much I love owning horses. Have I mentioned how much I love my horse. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate moving hay around. It is heavy and makes you itch. I am pretty sure horses and hay go together and always will. I have to forge ahead and get over it. I will be moving hay this weekend. Happy Happy Joy Joy.
Thanks for reading and everyone have a wonderful weekend.

Getting help for Socks

This pretty little girl is Socks. She lived very close to my home. I have tried for 2 years to get her some help. She has no food in her pasture and her owner does not feel her. As you can tell, she is in very bad shape. I finally found someone who would help her. She was rescued last week. She is now living at a rescue facility in another county. They are feeding her and have started a de-worming program. She was given a bath to get rid of lice and mites. She is put inside a barn at night to help stay warm.
I was told at first that they did not think she would make it, but she is hanging in there and hopefully getting better. As you know, I am a huge animal person. I cannot stand to see one abused. I promised Socks I would not give up on her and I did not. It took me longer than I had wanted it to, but finally I found help for her. Now she can live out her life knowing what kindness, food, warmth, and love is. She will never be hungry again. I am so grateful for this rescue society.
I hope to visit Socks one day soon and see her way more healthy and happy. Lets hope she does well and has plenty of time to enjoy the new found happiness in her life. I hope to post a better picture of her soon and she will look way better.
Thanks for reading and help animals that are abused. They cannot help themselves. Thank you.

Foggy

Saturday morning in the country. It is very foggy. I am off to the horse pasture to feed my babies. This reminds me of a horror movie where I am certain something will attempt to scare me or worse out there. If you do not hear from me in a week or so will you please notify the authorities as to where to start looking. Everyone have a wonderful day and be safe.
By the way, I have a great story for you but it involves pictures and I cannot download pictures on here. I cannot determine why. Help me, please. If anyone knows what the problem is please comment and let me know. You are missing a really great story. Thanks.