I am scared.

I do not know who, if anyone reads my blog. They are my ramblings and I ramble about what I want to ramble about. It's why it is my blog. All of the signs are there that my horse Sage is pregnant. So pregnant that she might deliver in the next 2 or 3 weeks. How so you ask could this horse be so far along and you not know she could be expecting. Well the first reason is I am completely stupid when it comes to horses. I always depended on G to help me and he always did. I have learned many things from him, but pregnant horses just never came up in our lessons. The next reason as I have mentioned is Sage is a big girl. The little donkey in the pasture with her is a small Jack, only about 600 lbs.  I ask G when we put them together if he thought I might have this situation and his answer was: Well you have got a male and a female so anything could happen. Never completely rule it out. But your Mare is older and many times and older Mare will not lay down for a smaller horse. He was betting this situation would never come up. I mention to him just a few days before he passed away that Sage was really rounding out on me and I was afraid she might be pregnant. He smiled at me and said I really doubt it honey. She is just getting fat, like I told you she would. I told him if this mare had a baby mule I was going to name it Gerald. He smiled at me and told me to do just that, and he commented about how cute the baby mules were. So here we are. The signs are there that she is either in a false pregnancy or going to deliver in just a few weeks. The vet will be coming out this week for the check-up that will answer my questions. Now people, I have only been into horses for about 5 years now and for all of those 5 years I have had G by my side. He told me what to do or handled the situation for me. I lost G early in September to cancer, which I hate by the way. I am scared. I have other friends who have offered advice and I do appreciate each and every one of them. I really do. How do I make them understand I need the man who has taught me everything I know. This wonderful horse that I love so very much was a gift from G. The most wonderful gift and I love her to death. She is 15 years old. Now I know 15 is not old for a horse, but there are so many questions. I do not know if she has ever had a foal before. I do not know what to expect. I have never been involved in horse birth. Saw puppies and kittens being born, but never a horse. What if something goes wrong and the vet cannot get here fast enough. What if I do not know the proper time to put Sage up and she gives birth out in the pasture. I can think of many questions. The crazy thing is; anyone could answer these questions for me, but as crazy as it sounds I want to hear his answers. I hear him in my mind telling me to stop worring about things that have not happened yet. She knows more about it than you do so just stay out of her way. Let nature happen and everything will be OK. I hear him saying all of these things to me. I am scared. I do not want anything to happen to this wonderful horse he gave me. I would love to keep the baby, but the timing is terrible. It looks like I will have a baby horse in the winter, the worst time to raise one. I have researched on the internet. It is not like I am completely stupid and will just panic and not look for help. I have. I just wish I had the wisdom of the man I trusted the most. He was the best horseman I have ever known. Oh well, he is in a better place and no longer suffering. I know he is OK. He told me everything will be OK when he was gone and I believe him. I just wish he was here to know what is happening. But he is not and I must handle this situation, and I will. But, I am scared. I am very scared. I hope my horse will be OK. I hope everything will be OK. It will because he said everything would, but he did not know at that time that my horse might be pregnant. He would have still said it's going to be OK. I know he would have. I am scared. Really Really Scared.