I HATE Cancer

I hate Cancer. Now I do not know of anyone who likes it, but I really hate it. In the last couple of years I have lost 4 people I loved dearly to this horrible disease. All 4 had a different type, but the end result was the same. They are not here. I loved all of them. With each one, I did get the opportunity to tell them I loved them and also tell them how much they meant to me. Also, with each one of them, after they were gone from this world, I thought of one million more things I should have or wanted to say. With each one, I vowed to tell people how I feel about them and how much I love them before they get sick. I try, but fail. I mean too, but for reasons unknown to myself, do not always do this.
Back to cancer. Just the mention of the word makes me sick. I hear it and have this awful feeling of dread. I wonder why we cannot find a cure. I wonder why this terrible disease seems to strike wonderful people that do not deserve this. This week has been a really tough one for me, and I have no idea why. I have missed one of these people so much this week, and think of them all the time. I miss all 4 of them. They all were special and important in my life. I miss talking to them and laughing with them and spending precious time with them. When the last one I lost told me he had cancer, I actually went and threw up. I could remember the previous 3 and how each one of them told me they hoped to defeat this terrible monster. They did not defeat this monster and my fear was he would not either. I never told him, I was afraid for him. He knew. He could see it on my face. This terrible monster defeated him too. I cried and cried. I still cry for all of them. I miss you all and still love all of you. I hate cancer.